The Chronicles of The Retro Kitchen Goddess

Of Mint and Men.

2011-06-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I angered a spider, possibly a brown recluse spider, in my sleep. I probably was mumbling something offensive, rambling about anti-spider legislation that should be passed. That'll teach me. I awoke 3 days ago with a fine specimen of a spider bite that made me think of every cable emergency-room-she-lost-her-leg-from-eating-shellfish drama I'd ever seen.

So today, with the instructions of 'stay hydrated', while ambling through my backyard garden; I eyed the lovely mint growing in the nooks and crannies of the juniper logs and decided to do just that. After crushing up the mint with cane sugar, kneading the sole remaining lime in my kitchen to utter submission, crushing ice up and cooling down grapefruit seltzer water and closing my eyes when i poured the rum; I created my own Anti-Spider Poison Limeade.

I made a second executive decision shortly after. I think I'll be growing lots more mint. I hope the deer won't like it too much. The spider bite feels better already.

And yes, I use my potted plants for drink holders. Keeps them upright.

Helter Swelter.

2011-06-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

9:20 pm and 90 degrees. I've been waiting for the sun to set and the heat to slow its waves off the ground, the asphalt and the houses. I've been thinking about the short walk down the back slope to the water, lit only by encircling half-burned-out christmas lights that have faded with the sun's glare, and sliding into the neck-deep bliss of a night-time dip. I can't wait to hear the call of the summer cicada, and tonight, we're close to a full moon, gorgeous in the texas hill country night skies.

Its been a sweltering summer, and we're only 2 weeks, really, into it. But with the daily thermometer inching over the 100 degree mark and the ground getting progressively Captain-Crunchier, I can avert my eyes from the heat waves on the asphalt to proclaim that yes, summer is officially here in South Texas, at least for me.

I spent all of last week cooking in a quasi-retro-wtf chow wagon for a 5-day eco survival intensive class for The Human Path. There was no wash of air-conditioned relief to walk into when my brain started to overheat, and no ceiling fan to lie underneath while sipping imagined frosty beverages lined with rum and mint leaves. The respite available was a solar shower under the stars and a horse trough filled with cool water in the herb garden there. But oh, it was a welcome respite for me.

Eggplants are pretty.

In between making eggplant (local from the farmers market, bitches!) sandwich filling and herbed hummus for the hungry masses and trying to fill the bottomless stomachs of some teenaged boys (can't be done); the frigid spray coming out of the well was a jarring and coveted pleasure. At night, when the baked ground was still radiating enough heat to successfully cook yogurt outdoors(no exaggeration here), a soft blue glow from inside the solar shower stall tarp signalled another hot camper cooling down.

I spent my days cooking, trying to figure out to to fill up the teenage boys without going into permanent debt and sweating. Sweat running down my back, blurring my vision and making my socks soggy. Occasionally I stuck my head into the freezer on the auspices of looking for something. Mmmm.

You. Mo. Bumble.

I made homemade granola with apricot and almonds, yogurt that I set outside in 100 degree heat on the chow wagon porch, homemade bumble-bars, strawberry jam, oatmeal cookies with dried fruit, and homemade icecream sandwiches that I doled out on the porch with two spoons, a tupperware of fresh cookies and sticky hands.

Summer. Summer is good, no matter how hot it gets. It is full of rituals for me, and remains my favorite time of the year, despite the drought and the scorpions. The rest of the state melts, a-gasp if venturing out past the safe confines of air-conditioned cars and buildings. Too-tight tank tops make their debut here, along with sweatbands, do-rags and the usual manly displays of patriotism and style.

So in the spirit of a summer game, here is mine. Tell me your best suggestion for filling up the bottomless gullet of teenaged boys -- while on a budget, and I will share with you, one of my new well-received recipes, of which you can choose. The yogurt was DAMN popular though and maybe you should look into that, because your aquaintances and significant others will look at you differently after spooning granola over it. Just saying....

Make a comment on retrokitchengoddess.blogspot.com to illuminate me on the best way to stave off teenage hunger --- much like a vampire's insatiable hunger --- and I will share gladly.

teenage eating machines!

And now, there is a cicada outdoors, calling my name.

I Love You. Now Eat.

2011-05-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

The thermostat is reading in the high nineties, and I can feel the sweat trickling down my back. My fingers are stained purple and red, and thorns have left scritch-scratch marks all up and down my forearms. When I straighten up, I've got a handful of plump blackberries that will soon become jam, and all that I can see for miles, are the steamy hill country rolls of peach trees.

I'm not a chef and I've never been accused of being a Miss Fancy Pants, but I do love to cook. I am a mess of obsession for color and for flavor. If I bake you a pie, that means I love you. If you find avocado and mango sandwiches wrapped up with your name on the tinfoil, its because I've got a fondness for you; and well, if you're eating the chocolate pecan pie I made, you might as well come to grips with the fact that you and I are linked for this lifetime.

By the same token, if I don't cook you anything at all and suggest you check out what WhataBurger is serving, well, you must have pissed me off. Sea salt caramel and chocolate work wonders for mending that though, fyi.

I laced up my sneakers and grabbed a hat for what promised to be an excellent late spring adventure in a hill country orchard. There is absolutely nothing better than those back roads and the turn-off to the orchard that goes past a pond with the run-of-the-end-and-into-the-blissful-water deck, over the cattle guard and suddenly ... there I am .... about 50 miles away from town, traffic and anything distracting.

If you're like almost everyone, eating the HEB strawberries from the plastic box, you think you've experienced summer when you bite into one of those (tasteless) never-quite-ripe-in-the-right-way berries. so sad. There is no comparison to kneeling there in the sandy banks next to the strawberry plants, and biting into a berry the size of your thumb ... just a little thing .... and the sun-warmed berry makes you nearly pass out. Bliss. With the berry juice staining fingers to a crimson blush, this is the moment one might realize they've truly experienced love. Nirvana.

If you haven't experienced such a thing, I suggest you get up, go and find it. And if you have no interest in finding it, then you might as well just move over so someone else can breathe in that air that kind of smells like cinnamon and smoke, the gust of wind of a life fully lived.

I collected a full basket of strawberries and I am going to make it into a pie today for someone special. Those blackberries are going to be cooked down with lemon juice and sugar into jam that I will spoon over banana bread. The two bushels of peaches I picked will become pie, jam, spooned over ice cream, pulled out from the freezer when the trees are bare, folded into pancakes, made into salsa and parfaits...

The farm hand at the orchard liked the peach trees. Standing under the branches was cooler and a respite from the rising heat. When I was picking from the lower branches, he pointed at the center truck and advised me to pick from the middle, where the sweeter and larger peaches live. He added his own pickings to my cardboard bushel box and gave me a ride back to the shack where I could pay for my fruit and wash off from a spigot under the oaks. As I drove away later, I noticed him reaching for fruit for another intrepid visitor with peach wanderlust.

One sticky hand up, I wave and smile. It is a very good day, an excellent day for an adventure and the promise of pie.

Where Is The Kitchen? Its At Bihl Haus!

2011-04-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

"The Cabinet of (Foreign) Kitchen Affairs"
click on any image for full size.

The opening night of 'The Kitchen Goddess' was attended by art lovers, the curious and those who simply love love LOVE a sprinkling of kitsch with their cereal. Bihl Haus hosted the most recent outing of the kitsch-en, and our new and freshly powdered goddesses got a chance to stretch their wings and flirt.

"Merceureka"

There were quite a few new pieces, such as this sassy vaccuum cleaner, Merceureka. She positively begs to be turned on, and quite honestly, has a mind of her own. I've never had so much fun pushing around a purring appliance. I"ve started making excuses to vaccuum. Why the front yard just won't stay clean!

"The Sink of Failed Dreams: Where All Good Housewives' Dreams Go To Die"

And here is a side shot of the sink, one of my favorite pieces. As fun to make as it is to look at, I think I've created a place where you can unzip the mundane, and step into a technicolor world of volumptuous whimsy and tounge-in-cheek humor.

And our goddesses have evolved too. From the early days in Colorado, where the goddesses were reminiscent of Jackie O, and just getting their fuzzy house slippers wet...

to the Blue Star installation goddesses that could barely wait to educate viewers on 'How To Be A Good Housewife'...

our Bihl Haus goddesses have evolved into the kitchen-conscious audacious group of not-quite-liberated mavens of the pre-microwave era.

You can view the full opening night festivities and see some of the pieces in the slideshow in the post below, called, 'Bitch and Kitsch' at http://retrokitchengoddess.blogspot.com. Just click on the slideshow to see it in its proper size.

The kitchen goddesses have now taken off their high heels and massaged their aching toes...

poured that martini and settled on the davenport to relax ...

and the Magic Chef with his lovely and perfect helper Betty Jean, have packed up their knives and returned to their home turf to insult regular patrons in French while waving their hands at them to dismiss ...

and the mile-long train of devilled eggs has been long-consumed by our lovely guests ...

Adela, a vision in red, with 'Pimento Loaf', her own creation.

so our kitchen goddesses bid you farewell for the time being.

The kitchen will be on display, up until May 14th at Bihl Haus Arts. You can visit on Fridays and Saturdays, 1 - 4 pm or by appointment, if you pick up your telephone and call 210,383.9723. You can purchase a piece of the kitchen to adorn your home and make it even more spectacular, using all the proper colors, or any of the pieces the Golden artists, like Adela above, have created.

Many people have asked me 'where IS Bihl Haus???'. Darlings, its easy to find. A vision in seafoam green and barbie pink, my kitchen lives in the Bihl Haus gallery for the next 4 weeks at 2803 Fredricksburg Road, INSIDE of the Primrose retirement community. Its right across the street from DeWeese's Tip Top Cafe, where you can also have a delicious chicken fried steak OR grilled cheese sandwich if the devilled eggs and mini burgers in the exhibit leave you hungry for more.

My exhibit has much less calories than this...

Here is the map for those of you who need more reference. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl

We do hope you will have a chance to drop by our kitchen. Its an experience we'd love to share with you. When you are there, simply close your eyes and inhale. We just know you'll be able to smell the cinnamon from those oatmeal cookies we cooked just for you.

And as soon as my bruised toes recover, I'll be updating on my latest adventure, here at http://retrokitchengoddess.blogspot.com.

-- Vanilla, sugar and lots of powdered sugar,

Bitch and Kitsch

2011-04-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

hey babycakes! click here to view the slideshow of all
the delicious things we made for you...

Interview With A Housewife

2011-04-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

With only 4 days remaining before the opening reception for 'The Kitchen Goddess' exhibit, we sit down for just a brief moment to see just what this is all about. I mean honestly, if we're going to drive all the way over to Bihl Haus Arts, we want to know what we're in for over there. Thankfully, our busy housewife had just enough time for a small cup of tea before rushing off again.

Whats this all about?
- (laughter). Its about tedium, darling. Welcome to my home. Look how much time I spent on this ... on everything. It took me months and months to do this, and its still just ever so slightly off-kilter. Some things will never be finished. Just as soon as I'm done ironing, I've got to turn around and start over again! I slave over things to make them just right, but there's always room for more improvement. But thats ok, because its a housewife's job to make sure we keep trying, keep working.

Working on ...?
- Well, everything of course. What would the neighbors say if I just stopped keeping up? My wonderful strong husband just gave me permission for the new kitchen layout and I want to make sure its absolutely perfect. Thats very important. Organization is very important.

Why does your kitchen make me feel like I'm in a Dr. Suess book? Whats with all these colors?
- (titter) Oh isn't it lovely? I can't believe how much of an improvement it is over that dreadful old white Fridgidaire we had five years ago and that stupid rusty Maytag that didn't go with anything. Everything matches. Its just like being in The Wizard of Oz, with all these new and exciting colors. I just get so ... excited to be cooking in a kitchen like this!

Hmmm. OK. Can you tell me about this one piece, "The Sink of Failed Dreams: Where All Good Housewife Dreams Go To Die"?
- (pause. Puts down tea cup.) Go to die? I wouldn't say that. I mean, those dreams were awfully frivolous anyway. This is where I really belong and it's an awfully good life. Who has time for college and .. and a job when there's so much to do here. Why its positively consuming! There's really no time left over for such nonsense. I am very fulfilled right here and I've learned so much just with learning about domestic home economics ... so that silly thing about going to school was just that. silly. They need me here.

Alright. What do you keep under that sink?
- Oh that? Thats just the stuff I don't need anymore, never did. Rat poison, the leftovers ... all that silly stuff that I need to get rid of now that I have a nice new kitchen and a family on the way one day. I've been needing to clean all that out anyway.

How much time do you spend in your kitchen?
- (polite laughter) Why, all day, of course! One day, when we have a big family, I'll be spending time in a nursery with little John Jr. and a sweet Becky Sue, but for now, I have so much to learn! Home economics is a very very exhausting topic. Oh. I don't mean exhausting in a negative way. I simply mean there is very much to learn! Did you know that the new ovens completely change the amount of time it takes to cook a glazed ham? Canned pineapple makes it go so quickly.

What is the most important tool you use in your kitchen?
- Oh thats easy! That would be my mixer. It matches my new refrigerator. They came together. It make my life so easy! I get soooo much done with it. It is so much better than mixing cake batter by hand! Just look at it. It loves me ... its like its arms are opening for a big hug. (sigh) Well I really must get back to work. There is so much to do before Friday, and we're expecting company. It was so nice to meet you!

There you have it. Our housewife is back at it, primping her mint green and barbie pink kitchen, getting ready to greet you on Friday's opening at Bihl Haus Arts. Do stop by. She'd love to show you around. (there might even be an ironing tutorial if you haven't already mastered this essential craft)

Bihl Haus Arts

2803 Fredricksburg Rd.

San Antonio, TX

This Friday, 5:30 - 8:30 pm

Can't Think Of An Idea? Steal Mine!

2009-03-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

Kitchen Goddess first came into my life around 2004 or so, when I was asked to curate a show with that theme in mind for the Colorado Women's Caucus for Art. The first KG show was in 2006 and ended up being a nationally juried show as well as a full-blown textile installation from local Colorado artists. We had workshops of painstakingly weaving metallic thread around cutlery, glitzing out the most fabulous vaccuum cleaner of all time and using huge quantities of adhesives. To the stains of 'Come On In My Kitchen', and many kitchen goddesses parading in aprons, teetering in heels & party dresses and clutching glasses of wine with devilled eggs ... the kitchen goddess was born. KG went on, as most of you know, to make her mark on San Antonio, in FiberArtSpace last year, with multiple kitchen goddesses, 'ironing tutorials', salami rolls and pickles on a stick.

Imagine my surprise when this morning, someone asked me if a gallery reception invite they were about to send out was my image from this show. I was stunned to see my own postcard image going out for someone else's show!

one of the postcards I made for the 2008 show for women's history month

Turns out that a couple of local artists who were performing in my exhibit were so enamoured with the idea that at the same time this show came out last year for women's history month, they were simultaneously presenting it to someone as their own idea, that they would do as part of their own show in March of 2009.

Stephanie, at left, making the best damned scrambled eggs eva.

We had some very impassioned models, artists and closet performance-artists who came to recite 'how to be a good wife' to an unsuspecting crowd, those who doled out jello cups and cheesy crackers to the first friday drunks and those who camped up an already campy idea with their good sense of humor. It was a blast, draining, but a lot of fun and I don't think it permanently scarred Laurie, the gallery director. :) (at least i hope not)

ok now sure, you can draw bunnies and I can draw bunnies too. No harm there. I can be equally inspired by your work and make something that I might not have thought of on my own.

However, pushing off the kitchen goddess idea as your own, isn't the best idea ever conceived, especially when you're borrowing imagery from someone else's show flyer, or passing off a concept as your own when you're not really sure what its about, especially when its pretty specific like 'the kitchen goddess'. That's not one you hear every day. Especially in San Antonio. Sexy Vaccuum Cleaner, created by Kristin Woodbury, in Colorado.

And if you do decide to borrow someone else's concept, which anyone can do, you'd better at least rock the idea and do it right.

So I know I've got some of you out there that are either recovering Kitchen Goddesses or at least mildly entertained by the whole concept. If you've got an opinion on how far you can take someone else's idea/concept/work as your own before attributing or acknowledging where it came from, I'd love to see your comments on this page. ***Return to this blog at http://retrokitchengoddess.blogspot.com/ , post your comments at the bottom of this post, and the best comment will get your very own vintage Kitchen Goddess item, wrapped up with love and Lysol.

Livin' La Vida Horse Show

2008-12-15T07:59:00.000-08:00

Every now and then, a kitchen goddess has to get out of the house. Previously I mentioned a horse that literally eats everything in our wallets. Seen above here, Sadie is a force to be reckoned with.

Hmmm, or maybe its the girl that rides her. Either way, they're both awfully good at pulling the heartstrings into little bitty knots. I took a break from my exciting life of web development and artistic endeavors (seen below) to spend 2 exciting weeks up in windy, cold, and dusty Waco for a horse show.

I took this girl here ....

this jumping machine here ....

and courtesy of our barn friends, the Richter girls, Grace and Georgia (who can both look glamorous no matter how much dust is in the air!), we took on Waco on behalf of our 'ghetto barn', Russell Equestrian Center, which we love very much, right down to the last duct-taped pair of chaps and faded charlie-brown christmas tree.

Our barn did not win the christmas decoration contest sadly, but every single member of our entourage was fully committed ....

From our faithful groom Carlos and studly Rockstar, who wanted to be in the christmas spirit (or at least eat it at a later time un-monitored) ...

or Colonel Santa, aka Colonel John Russell, former Olympian and local revered equestrian patriarch ....

our group brought it on for Waco. Here you've got, from left to right, Carlos, Brigid in front, Ana with a knee up, Colonel Russell in ropin' gloves, Shane and Georgia.
We strapped the girls into the golf cart for the bumpy and often helter-skelter jaunt (did you know you can get up to 8 people on one golf cart?) to the jumping ring ....

and turned them loose with their speed-demon horses on the verticals, oxers and wayward christmas trees of the Waco christmas show ring.

My princess pair were rewarded with a 2nd place ribbon and a fair amount of carrots, mollasses cookies and caffeine for the one with the ear-to-ear grin. So, while I'd normally be doing more of this ----

or this ---

watching moments, like this, suits me just fine.

Mama's In The Kitchen

2008-03-23T19:35:00.001-07:00

I think the thing I liked most about this exhibit, other than the excuse to buy yards and yards of the frilliest girliest fabrics ever created....was working with the Kitchen Goddesses. Stephanie, one of our students from the International Academy of Design and Technology, was a great example of a modern-day woman, with her life in motion. As part of Rockabilly Hour, Stephanie brought her own cutie-pie along.

And Madeline. A new and very talented member from the Guardian Angels Performance Academy, she gave life to our frazzled, multi-tasking modern day kitchen goddess with the phrase 'i just don't have time'. Even now I find myself repeating 'grey grey grey. it works. it just goes with everything!'. We were also very very lucky to have Jessica Story participate as well, and I'll be posting video of her kitchen poetry as soon as I have the files downloaded!

Sorry for all the delays folks! Just as the last piece was being stored away, I was already back at work on a huge deadline that just wrapped up. My goal is to continue onward with the kitchen goddess concept in different incarnations.
And of course, most importantly, a huge thanks to Laurie Brainerd, for all her help, and for opening up FiberArtspace to the Kitchen Goddess, in all its quirky and unusual trappings. We love you Laurie! Remember the jello!

Luminarias Exhibit Day

2008-03-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

And that's all she wrote, folks! Today was the last day of this particular exhibit, 'The Kitchen Goddess Goes to Work', as part of the city-wide Luminaria art event. At the end of the day, taking apart the exhibit was a little bitter-sweet, but my aching feet made sure we made a fast exit once the last viewer had departed. Above, you see the lovely Kitchen Goddess Cindy, acting out the lines from 'How to Be A Good Wife' to an excited group who were taking notes, yes, on what should be going on in their homes.

I'll write more tomorrow, as I'm just too tuckered out now. But I think overall, the exhibit was a great success, and the overwhelming response from viewers was they liked the interactive exhibit, liked the jello, and loved the kitchen goddesses. Who wouldn't?

I will start tomorrow by posting a couple of videos as well. We have two very talented young actresses from the Guardian Angels Performance Academy who did both kitchen poetry and acting out the part of a frenzied multi-tasking modern woman. Until then, remember the advice from your local kitchen goddess crew, and always remember to use potholders at all times!

VaVaVa Voom!

2008-03-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

Normally I don't like to post images of myself, but this one is for my mom. Look mom! Look Catherine! I learned how to iron! There's documented proof now! Sniff... your little girl went and grew up and now look how domestic she is!

The olive tray and table got rave reviews, but our VaVaVa Voom object that attracted the most attention was the leggy and sultry iron and Irony Board. People just couldn't keep their hands off the long hand-wrapped cord, or the pink velour of the board. It was the host to quite a few educational and entertaining ironing tutorials, one of which we'll post a video of, here online! Soon! Because we know you too, would like to be as well-versed as we are here, in the Kitchen Goddess household.

The two lovely Sanders sisters, Zita Barbara and Martha Mauricia arrived just in time to give cooking classes with lunchmeat, and to scramble eggs for us. Always a pleasure, the perfectly attired Kitchen Goddesses impressed everyone with their extensive knowledge of All-Things-Kitsch.
I will be posting many more pictures of the exhibit over the next several days, as we gear up for Luminarias, and the final outing of the Kitchen Goddess exhibit for now. On Saturday, 12 -4, one week from now, the kitchen will be rocking, and we're even thinking about having a Rockabilly Hour during the show, with Shirley Temples and Roy Rogers. We'll let you know!

A Peek Into My World...

2008-03-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

One of the things I liked the most about creating the pieces for this exhibit was finding ways of presenting mundane kitchen items in a colorful and irreverant fashion. I loved taking unexpected fabrics and 're-assigning' them to a new role.

It took me weeks to hand-make the 'Bad Eggs' carton and each individual egg. 'Tasty Beans', an item from last year, was an exercise in embroidery patience, as was 'Milk'.

And here is the stove of my dreams. I imagine only fluffy cakes, puddings, and divine hams coming from this satin confection of an appliance. Dr. Seuss would be envious of this.
While whimsical, the pieces show that a commonly belittled skill, textiles, often labeled as 'craft' or 'hobby', can have a great deal of planning, design and skill to pull it off. 50 yards of seafoam satin can't be wrong!
Today we had the kids from Say Si visit our exhibit, and tomorrow we'll be inviting those from Celebration Circle into our lovely lovely home. There will be pickles-on-a-stick, there will be devilled eggs, and there will be plenty of sass and good home economics wisdom to share. I do hope you'll be there! More pics to follow soon!

Kitchen Goddesses Overtake Blue Star Art Complex!

2008-03-08T08:52:00.001-08:00

A vision of loveliness in green, our retro kitchen goddess Zita Barbara Sanders started off our 2nd day of the Kitchen Goddess exhibit in style, beckoning visitors in from the windows of her lovely home. We were very lucky to have several kitchen goddesses hosting the show tonight: Zita Barbara (click on her picture to see the full-sized image), Mauricia Martha Sanders, Sonia Knape and April King-Bennett. We also had two young members of the Guardian Angels Performance Academy participating in both the modern and retro world. They gave spoken word performances from the minds of young aspiring kitchen goddesses, from both sides of the exhibit: both modern and retro.

The exhibit was all about audience participation. Walking towards surprised visitors on robotic stiff (Stepford-wife-esque) joints, our goddesses implored them to sample salami rolls, pickles-on-a-stick, fresh olives and more. Many visitors were surprised that yes, the jello was real, and yes, you could eat it. And yes... it was tasty!

Here we have Art, one of our very obliging visitors, and a student from a local university no less, resting long enough to be properly fed a nutritious snack by goddesses Sonia (in green) and April (in brown with fuzzy scarf). The last thing any of our diligent goddesses would want is an earnest viewer of the arts, to go out with an empty stomach. More later! We still have several exhibit days to go, and one more performance by the Guardian Angels Performance Academy next Saturday!

The Opening Night

2008-03-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

Ah yes. You know your opening night is a success when your goddesses really get involved in their household chores and take nutrition and motherly duties seriously. Above, you see Kitchen Goddess being choked by the ever-smiling Goddess Deserea. That'll teach her to put the tuna casserole on the table five minutes late!
***forgive the images you see here--- my pocket point-and-shoot isn't so hot. :(

Tonight (Friday) will play host to some other kitchen goddesses, Mauricia Martha and Zita Barbara, the Sanders sisters, as well as the lovely Sonia Knape. I hope that you can make the opening and we'll be waiting for you, devilled eggs in hand! Please make sure to check out the images on my 'kitchen goddesses' photo album in the upper right corner! More will be coming out shortly! Until then, our goddesses wish you well and hope that you eat everything on your plate!

Does Domestic Bliss Come In Polka Dots?

2008-03-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

I've been busy putting the final touches on my installation for the upcoming kitchen goddess show this week... that's right! THIS WEEK! ALREADY! HOLY COW! ...and in between full-fledged freak-out attacks and naps prompted by total exhaustion, I've been giving a lot of thought to the whole kitchen goddess concept that I've been building.

While the whole premise of the show is humorous, whimsical and while standing at a green satin stove with furry stove elements, downright silly, there's some real beef to the women who've stood there before me, making statements about women, working and happiness. I had the chance to talk last weekend at length with Deserea (seen above, luminous and fetching in blue polka-dotted confection created by designer Jenna Gandy), about the modern-day balancing act between working, being a wife and mother, and somehow, trying to find happiness. I think Deserea's words pretty much say it all:
"I was once the happy housewife ignorantly blissful in my own world, until one day I found out that through all the struggles of being a young mother, trying to balance children, housework and somewhere in the midst of all that finding time to breathe, that nothing I did would ever be enough..."
Like many modern-day supermoms, Deserea discovered that even carefully balancing everything and still appearing capable left her no room for herself and her own pursuits. Now a single mom doing it all on her own, she found she had to carve out the space for her own passions, in order to find happiness.
"I had to completely re-make myself, and realized that it was time for me to live my dreams. I went back to school, started my own photography and graphic design business (http://jupiterimaging.multiply.com/) and accomplished many goals! Every day is a step by step process of balancing, and anytime anything gets added to my plate- I have to rebalance. I have learned to be strong and to stand tall no matter what, even when it gets hard and I feel like I am stretched to the finest. I adore the women that went before us, they had way more to balance, yet somehow they were able to make it work so well. If I could go back in time I would learn as much as I could from these super women! I am a modern day supermom to many of my friends, but I can't tell you that it's easy to do so much, a woman could go out of her mind if she wasn't me..."

Now friends, you try doing all that while looking as radiant as Deserea, Kitchen Goddess Extrordinaire!

Sonia, The Kitchen Goddess

2008-03-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Mother knows that while encouraging her daughter to attend those typing and dictation classes in college, brains must also be added to with a healthy sampling of beauty, sophistication and some good solid cooking skills. Our modern-day kitchen goddesses have long ago left behind aspirations of going to college to land a good husband, and are looking to leave their mark not only in the business-world, but in the hearts and minds of you hopelessly un-color-coordinated saps.

Sonia Knape, one of our sassy and worldly kitchen goddesses, is prepared not only to bake up some hazelnut cupcakes, but she'll sing to you in Russian while she gets down to the business of filmmaking. She's smart, she's punctual, and she's got eyes like a hawk. Currently a student, she aspires to be a working filmmaker, just as soon as she completes her studies in Russia!
me: so, you're finishing up with your degree here. What would you say is your strongest points in your studies?
SK: Keeping everything to the point, no dawdling, and still having dinner served at 5pm.

me: wow! I'm lucky to even be on my way to the grocery store at 5! If I were following you around at the grocery store, what would I see you putting into your cart?
SK: Cereal, syrup, herbal tea, coffee, macaroni and cheese dinners, and for my baking, sugar, flour, eggs, milk, vanilla extract.

Maybe Sonia will serve us some of these next week at the opening then? We do love our kitchen goddesses that can cook! Everyone knows that cupcakes are the food of goddesses. Cupcakes and kitchen goodies aside, our kitchen goddesses know the important issues of today, and are going to be involved in changing things!

me: Who do you think has done more for women’s rights than anyone else?
SK: Katherine Hepburn—she made wearing pants fashionably acceptable.

me: If you held an influential public office, what is the first thing you would do or change?
SK: I would demand better public transportation: devise routes for a light rail and employ people to start construction on it.
me: If you were to challenge a member of the opposite sex to a competition, knowing you could win, what competition would you choose?
SK: Sing the duet “Anything you can do, I can do better” from Annie Go Get Your Gun

I love our kitchen goddesses! These women are driven, funny and in all cases, hell on wheels. Sonia will be joining our kitchen on the First Friday exhibit night, so be sure to visit us! And now, I'll leave you with an exerpt from the always hilarious, 'How To Be A Good Wife' from a 1954 home ec book, with instructions on how a proper kitchen goddess would be expected to prepare for 5 pm.

"Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home"....

2008-02-25T17:03:00.000-08:00

OK Everyone! Meet Jenna Gandy! Jenna is helping to design and create some of our outfits for the kitchen goddesses for the upcoming show. Jenna is a student at the local campus of the International Academy of Design and Technology. She is graduating in just a few months, so we were very lucky to snag her work before she gets totally booked up. She's been working in the field for over six years, specializing in wardrobe styling and her own unique clothing line. When she's done with school, look for her to start making her presence known here, possibly with her own shop or doing trunk shows. Jenna has ties both here and in Toronto, where she's been working with The Artist Group Limited, with Tara Shea.

So. Like edgy unique clothing? Like bright colors? Bold fashion statements? Wish you could have something that looks runway-ready? Well, then you'd better contact Jenna! Email: jennagandi@gmail.com.

And here is the lovely Deserea, one of our sassy and outspoken kitchen goddesses, who we'll be hearing more from this week. Deserea is wearing one of the dresses that Jenna custom designed for the show. A vision in turquoise polka-dots, our kitchen goddess greets us where it all starts: in front of the house with her favorite turkey casserole. (click to see her dress up close!)

Check back here soon! I'm going to post more pictures of Jenna's outfit designs. She has taken on the tricky project of outfitting our youngest kitchen goddesses, who are a handful. I'll also be posting the creation of Linda Yang, another talented design intern, as well as the words from an honest-to-god-modern-day goddess.

A Vintage Dress Among Us

2008-02-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, when it was actually chilly and raining, I went to Southtown and came back with this fabulous vintage find. I visited Agosto Cuellar's vintage shop, Jive Refried and found two great dresses that scream kitchen goddess.

Make sure you visit Jive Refried's blog here. http://jiverefried.blogspot.com/

I hope this dress will make an appearance at my show, maybe with a pair of duck-yellow gloves and some yellow heels....

Speaking of fashion, I've been so pleased to have two fashion design interns working with me on the show. Both students at the International Academy of Design and Technology, Linda Yang and Jenna Gandy are creating custom-designed retro dresses for some of our kitchen goddesses.

Once they are done, I'll photograph the dresses and post their information here. Both designers are working on a clothing line, and as you ALL know, buying and supporting local artists and designers is the way to go!

Quote of The Day

2008-02-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

"I do cook. I enjoy making cereal, Jell-O instant pudding... I've mastered the T.V. dinner. I was lucky enough to receive a whole baking set, along with cookbooks, gloves and a crystal cake display for Christmas. Getting a baking set for Christmas is either a compliment or a sign I need more practice. Nevertheless, I discovered I enjoy baking cookies. My favorite are chocolate chip."

---Zita Barbara Sanders, Kitchen Goddess

Future Goddesses...

2008-02-18T16:20:00.000-08:00

Watch yourself, world. You'd better be ready for the next generation of kitchen goddesses. Sure they're cute, but these girls are tough as nails. When they're not color-coordinated and shined up, these two can be found spending time doing this:

Hours every day. Every day of the week. Spent riding and training 1,200 pound creatures that spook at balloons, clouds and jump over rails higher than your car. (if your car is a compact) These teenagers don't so much as flinch when they are faced with crazy, insane and psychotic creatures affectionately named ,'widowmaker', 'deathride' and other sweet names.

So world, buckle up. Here are your future kitchen goddesses. They don't mess around. They're not afraid of a lot of hard work. And they're going to be at the first friday show, sending you upstairs, kitchen-goddess style.

Zexy!

2008-02-17T20:31:00.001-08:00

I got the chance today to work almost all day on my exhibit pieces, one of which was the Irony Board, which is all done now. She's all pink velour, leopard print, lace and black crushed velvet. And while you'd surely have a fire on your hands if you actually tried to use it for ironing, she's such a gorgeous creature, having this beauty in your house could easily find other fascinating uses.

The perfect place to display your vintage toy collection. A makeup counter. A companion in the kitchen for your cookbook. A stylish sidebar for your next party. A nightstand. And then there is her companion.

The Iron. She's bright, garish, and clashes with everything. She's wearing way way too much makeup and frankly, I don't think she should be going out like that, but there she is anyway... a mess of purple velvet, pink metallic spandex and green satin.

I also met up with some new goddesses who are going to participate in the show and should have some details to share with you this week. They are all very exciting ladies, and I can't wait to see them all dressed up and reciting the 'How To Be A Good Wife' ode. I also met with two fashion design interns who will be helping out with the show, and I'll be posting details as well about them this week, along with pictures of the kitchen goddess dresses they are helping to create.

The Goddesses Are Gathering...

2008-02-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

Like a percolating coffee pot, or the rising anticipation before a good live show, the excitement is starting to build for my kitchen goddesses across the city. Great things are happening, and I am scurrying to finish all my major pieces so that I'll be ready for the exhibit, in just 3 weeks!

Some of my goddesses work in glamorous modern-day jobs ... in the chamber of commerce, as a realtor broker, as models, actresses and local businesswomen. Others are aspiring artists, fashion design students, working moms and more. Please meet Deserea Marshall, one of my kitchen goddesses with attitude!

A local graphic arts student and former model, Deserea is comfortable both in front of and behind the camera. She's sassy, knows what she wants in life and isn't about to be intimidated by anything! Let's hear some of what she has to say:

Me: Who are your female role models?
DM: The moms from Leave It To Beaver, The Brady Bunch, and Little House On The Prairie. I wrote an essay on this for my college entry exam!

Now those are some gutsy women. Whether navigating the rigors of a full household and making it look easy or bracing against the rough life of the prarie, our kitchen goddess knows how to choose role models with moxie! I wonder just how gutsy she is...

Me: Can you run in high heels?
DM: I modeled until I was 19, and then had three children back to back, so running in heels is in my blood!

Me: If you were going to challenge a man to a competition you knew you could win, what would it be?
DM: Scrabble! or child birth for sure!

That's right guys! You might have the dual exhaust system figured out on your trucks. You might even be able to bench-press your full body weight while crossing and uncrossing your toes, but that's one thing you can't do, that our goddesses can, and with grace under pressure.

While Deserea has strong roots to family and friends, she also knows what she respects when she sees it in local businesspeople, and that's the people who know how to balance work and family. Spoken like a true kitchen goddess!

Me: Who do you admire in the business world most?
DM: Successful people who are actually doing what they love to do and still family oriented, very rare these days!

Deserea will be one of several performing as a charming yet sassy kitchen goddess in my textile exhibit that opens on March 6th in Fiber Artspace at the Blue Star Arts Complex. You'll have to come down and see for yourself! We'll save some devilled eggs just for you!
Visit Deserea's site about her photography and artwork! www.myspace.com/JupiterImaging

Chattin' In The Kitsch- en

2008-01-31T19:15:00.000-08:00

Our kitchen goddesses are busy lining up and readying themselves for the March exhibit, but had just enough time away from ironing their going-out gloves to chat with us about what it takes to be fabulous. Martha Mauricia and Zita Barbara reflect for us.

Me: If I followed you around in the grocery store, what would I see you putting in your cart?

ZB: I like gummy bears. I get a small bag almost every time I go to the store. I have certain requirements. My boyfriend knows, and he stays at the store sifting through bags to see which one has the least green bears.

MM: I’m a very down to earth eater. You’d see me putting in goldfish crackers, fruits, steaks, and feta cheese. Every once and a while I put in ice cream or cake.

mmmm, cake.

Me: What is the strongest point of your studies? (both are currently finishing degrees)

MM: I’m a math person. That’s why I studied finance. It’s really a math degree in disguise.

ZB: Writing, art, music, marketing… in general I’m a creative person. I innovate and create wherever I go. To innovate something, a person needs to have a background in a number of things, not just one area in order to think differently and provide a different response to a problem that is normally answered the same way. So, to answer the question, I try to soak it all up when I’m in school, much like a kitchen sponge...

mmmm, kitchen sponges.

Now, while you're sitting on your couch with a bag of chips, these girls are cracking their knuckles and getting ready to whip us all into shape, both mentally and physically.

Me: If you held an influential public office, what is the first thing you would do or change?

MM: I would like to influence the fitness level in cities like San Antonio. I would also do more for the arts. In very intellectual cultures, art plays a big role in society. In American culture, art takes a back seat unless it attracts a mass audience and advertisers can make money off it. Therefore, most of the art we are exposed to is very manufactured to hit a certain crowd or demographic which means a lot of smaller artists aren’t heard.

Me: And Zita Barbara? What are your plans for the rest of this year?

ZB: I’m going to finish up with my second degree this year and look into different graduate programs. I of course, hope to finish my CD this year. I would like to make a music video just because that sounds like a lot of fun.

Me: If you were to challenge a member of the opposite sex to a competition, knowing you could win, what competition would you choose?

MM: arm wrestling. There’s nothing more humiliating than to hear the buddy of a boy say, “You lost to her at arm wresting…”

Be forewarned fellas! Be warned!

5 Weeks Left!

2008-01-29T19:55:00.000-08:00

I had a very productive week last week, despite the flu running its course through my home. My fridgie is up in its almost-full glory (pics soon, i promise!), I got in a decent photo shoot with two of my stunning kitchen goddesses, completed a table, and completed a slew of smaller items. Today I sent off for my new postcards, with the image shown above.

These Shoes Were Made For Preening...

2008-01-25T08:32:00.000-08:00

While the rest of the country is locked in a cold cold embrace, here in the southern reaches of the hill country, its a little chilly, a little drizzly, but honestly, NOT BAD. While I miss the health food stores and the easy access to good thai food that I enjoyed in Colorado; warm weather, cheap avocados at the grocery store and long summers make up for it.

I was pleased to get a lot of work done last evening on pieces for the show. I made my 6 foot tall green satin fridgie purty, started on the retro dinner table, made some grocery items and got some accessories (see above) ready for my Kitchen Goddesses. While the exhibit is about the presentation -- its always about the presentation - -- the illusion that everything 'housewifey' is easy, a no-brainer, effortless --- it is also about the women that inhabit the kitchen that really drives the point home.

Women of the 1950s were given rule of the kitchen, and as artillery, given appliances, tv dinners and gadgets intended to make their life 'easier'. At the same time, the expectation was that they would still need to look beautiful, maintain a well-run house and look no further for fulfillment outside of that kitchen.

"I Run Like The Wind In High Heels"

2008-01-24T14:22:00.001-08:00

Spoken like a true lady, our Goddesses are both tough, savvy and sophisticated. They know their way around a kitchen for sure, but can teach you a thing or two about making it in today's dog-eat-dog world. Take Zita Barbara, for instance. In one of our interviews, she tells us how it is.

Me: What plans do you have academically after you graduate from school?

ZB: Going for a PhD. During my graduation ceremony, the lady next to me turned to me and said, “Keep going, don’t stop until you have a PhD… you have the face for it.” Apparently facial features have a lot to do with the ability to reason at higher levels. I don’t mean to brag, but I apply cream to my face everyday to prevent wrinkles and loss of I.Q.

Me: Can you run in high heels?

ZB: I run like the wind in high heels. Let me tell you, there is nothing more painful to a woman than running a mile in heels, besides childbirth.

And there you have it! Our first questions, answered by Zita Barbara. More to come in the very near future!

Goddesses Unite!

2008-01-22T14:51:00.000-08:00

Please welcome the first of two of our lovely Kitchen Goddesses. 22 year old professional model and actress Martha Mauricia Sanders is excited to play the part of a kitchen goddess in the local San Antonio art exhibit!
Background information: Taken by her straight teeth and charm, Martha Mauricia was “discovered” in a dentist chair during a regular teeth cleaning. The dentist working on her teeth noticed her exceptional good looks and outgoing personality. Martha was immediately asked to be a part of a feature in a dental magazine which would be distributed all over the world. Since then she has been invited to participate in a Donald Trump Fashion Show as well as shows for Texan designers. Martha Mauricia started early; at twelve years old she modeled for Sears and starred in a commercial for Kerns Nectar where she discovered a passion for performing. She is currently a senior at St. Mary’s University majoring in Finance and Risk Management.
Future Plans: Martha Mauricia plans to go on to grad school in order to continue her higher education. She looks forward to continuing modeling and acting in order to finance her academic endeavors.

Martha Mauricia's Contact Website: http://portfolios.models.com/314267/

We are also very lucky to have her sister, Zita Barbara Sanders, an aspiring art student and musician! Talented artist Zita Barbara Sanders is currently working on a C.D. project as a way to explore music and art. She plans to attend grad school after graduating from St. Mary's this spring. She is a double major in marketing and management. For moreinformation about her art, look on her webpage: http://www.sanderssisters.com/.

Working It....

2008-01-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I found a trove of great fabrics and steals at a local thrift store. One extra-large sized pink velour robe, a little on the worn side to ever be worn, found a new dignified role as one of my pieces. Witness: The Ironing Board. (I'll think up a clever name soon)

Sexy pink velour, racy leopard print racing stripes and sultry black velvet legs. If I actually ironed anything, this would be the perfect board for me.

I'm gathering my fabrics and supplies to get ready for working on the first of the kitchen goddess dresses. I have details about 2 of my goddesses, which I will post here tomorrow!

Dressing The Goddesses....

2008-01-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

Today I met with two prospective Kitchen Goddesses, Mauricia and Zita. Both beautiful and smart girls living and working in San Antonio, they will wear the shoes and walk the path of our beloved 50's Kitchen Goddess. I am starting work in the next couple of days on Zita's beautiful dress, which I can't wait to create! I've got my vintage 50s patterns that I snagged this weekend at the fabric shop. (click on the image above to get a close-up) They all look so festive! The only thing missing from this is a platter of salami rolls!

I will be posting much more on our first two goddesses here shortly!

For your enjoyment, check out some of the 'spoken word' our girls will be sharing with you. This is based off a real article, printed in a 1954 home ec textbook, of which many of us have previously heard of, if, for no other reason than to laugh hysterically.

How To Be A Good Wife (quick excerpt--- you'll want to attend the opening to hear it all, spoken with gusto!)

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed....

Going Grocery Shopping!

2008-01-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

While my husband is off in the wilds of Florida doing a wilderness survival course with Tom Brown, I'm busy navigating the jungle of the fabric store ... tables heaped up with out-of-season prints, polyester from my childhood (still ugly) and reams and reams of cutesy kid-targeted flannel (and those moms also wearing the Winne-The-Pooh sweatshirts). I'm working through my grocery list, one processed food item at a time!
Mmmmmm! Mystery meat! Could it be rolled up pastrami on a bed of iceberg lettuce? Or maybe something sitting a little too far back in my retro fridge since Thanksgiving... And this? Sushi? A bite of ham? Maybe some tuna? Or canned salmon, maybe....
Just wait until I get to the fun stuff! I have a ham to 'bake', my fabulous problematic cake, devilled eggs, pickes-on-a-stick....
I photographed the gallery space I'll be using for this installation, and I spent part of the weekend doing measurements and planning for my other pieces that I will build for the exhibit. While my 5 foot tall green satin fridge looks a little box-like to me, i think once I give it some softness and depth, I will like it better. For now though, its sitting on a piano-dolly, scaring the dogs.

Calling All Kitchen Goddesses....

2008-01-10T10:36:00.001-08:00

If you are a kitchen goddess at heart, or have a love for the nostalgia of the 50s or life before the microwave … and would like to volunteer to participate in a very cool art exhibit in March, please call me! I am creating a multi-media exhibit that will also feature living, breathing Kitchen Goddesses, that roam the exhibit in character, offering conversations to viewers on what it would be like to be a retro housewife of the 50s.

Breathe life into a character you create, and become a Kitchen Goddess!

The exhibit dates that I need Goddesses for are:
March 6 -9th and March 15th, at Fiber Artspace, in the Blue Star Art Complex.

Please contact me at:
Suchil Coffman
210.807.0645 or coffman.suchil@gmail.com

Kitchen Goddess Steps Back In Time.....

2008-01-09T16:52:00.000-08:00

‘The Kitchen Goddess Goes To Work’, multi-media installation
Contact: Suchil Coffman-Guerra, info@suchil.com
210-807-0645

November 30, 2007 – Walking into a Kitchen Goddess installation is a lot like stepping back in time, that is, if nostalgia is covered in leopard spots and Technicolor fur. Created entirely out of textiles in uncommon arrangements, the Kitchen Goddess exhibit will come to life again during Women’s History Month, in a 2nd-floor gallery at Blue Star Art Complex called Fiber ArtSpace. Up for the first week of March 2008, entering the Kitchen Goddess exhibit will be a trip back to the 1950s, when women had perfected the art of homemaking. This is a visual representation of that world, complete with living Kitchen Goddesses to narrate you through a day in their lives, as you walk through their household, and come out the other side, into the cool, color-coordinated multi-tasking kitchen that belongs to the modern-day working woman that has it all.
Originated in 2005, the Kitchen Goddess concept is a visual project that local artist Suchil Coffman-Guerra leapt upon when asked to curate a nationally juried show in Denver, Colorado. It grew into a project that had dozens of Colorado artists involved in; creating textile pieces, walls, and an entire life-sized kitchen goddess environment to make a subtle statement about women’s roles during the 50s. The current exhibit in San Antonio, Texas, will expand upon the original idea and begin the exploration of women’s path from the kitchen to the workplace, and how, in some cases, they are the same.
The use of textiles in this exhibit, once commonly regarded as a craft medium, or ‘women’s work’, is used as a jab at convention, using the materials in unconventional ways to make a statement both about how textile arts have been regarded as crafts rather than an art form, and also how women have been able to elevate the mundane into an art form.
Suchil Coffman-Guerra has shown her work across the US, including the Denver Museum of Contemporary Art, the Fort Collins Museum of Contemporary Art and the Texas Artist’s Museum. She has curated exhibitions in Colorado and facilitated artist career development workshops for local artist organizations.
‘The Kitchen Goddess Goes To Work’ will be on display at Fiber ArtSpace, at the Blue Star Art Complex, in Building D, #202. The exhibit will run March 6- 11, 2008. For more information, contact: info@suchil.com or 210.807.0645.

Cake, Anyone?

2008-01-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

So, I'm working with the cake. Trying to make it behave. I originally imagined that it would be a lemon chiffon cake, but kept finding yards of lilac and pink fabric at every turn. With a sigh, I abandon my original goals, and start trying to dress the cake. Its like trying to stuff an unruly and nap-deprived 2-year-old into dress clothes though, and tights that don't fit. Maybe you've seen the unfortunate foundation that was fondly dubbed 'The Melting Cake' --- but this is one beast that may have won. I set it down for today, even though I'm way behind schedule. Nothing good ever came though, from forcing a cake before its done baking! I am having better luck with the Toasta, and with my Bad Eggs. Check out the 'Busy In The Kitchen' photo album to see some of the things I've been working on!

If this blog is new to you, then I'll explain. I am creating an installation where all the pieces are created using fabrics, furs, and all manners of textiles. 'The Kitchen Goddess Goes To Work' is an exhibit about the evolution of the 1950s housewife as she gradually leaves her post by the mixing stand and ventures out into the workworld. It is intended to be a tounge-in-cheek look at women's roles in the kitchen and how it's all changed.